A Search Within (AKA… a rant)

Why do I feel drawn to something more then is said to exist? I know I’m not from here. The world is not my home. I know God is with me and I know I’m not alone, yet I can’t shake the loneliness. Everyone searches for something bigger or something more exhilarating, until they give up, and it seems like we all give up. I want out of this picture perfect masquerade. Everyone is acting parts; A dry monologue unpracticed – because unwritten – making it all up as they go. They just keep building and building and building on ideas, never arriving anywhere. The walls around my heart have been under construction for years, an attempt to keep some kind of mystery away from myself. I could keep seeking truth but what about believing in it? Why does everything have to be contained, named and made into something? I find hope in knowing that light can’t be contained by anyone, nor can it be made into something else. Why can’t every particle of existence just be what it was always meant to be… alive, active, in motion? It’s like the human race wants the world to appear dead, and at the same time, we all know there is no beauty in the perishable. I want to be surrounded by life. I’m tired of living in a world where words are given a meaning just to lose their meaning to a new “secondary language”. I despise slang. Creation is no longer cherished by the majority, and beauty has been redefined through furniture, oversized houses, and excess EVERYTHING. What’s with all the excess?


We have more than enough and yet we have nothing at all. Rant over.

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