Surrender in Circles

Honest Worship begins with complete surrender

God is not against preparation. This is something I learned more recently. It seems like a no brainer at first glance, until you enter the church where people have varying opinions. This is a lesson I learned through personal experiences, and the more I learn from God and not from people, the more I realize that He doesn’t work in the same way with every person. All of us have characteristics of God, and He placed pieces of himself all over the world. Perhaps God doesn’t desire to be understood. If we all learned in the same way and communicated with God in the same way, we would have Him all figured out at this point. In my life, God is not against preparation.

Let me explain why this is such an important fact of my life: I’ve been told that faith is enough to place me where God is ultimately leading me. I’ve been told that if I pray enough, seek God enough, and love people enough that God will shuffle me past the hardships into His calling for my life. I’ve been told that people struggle because of their lack of faith for the future, and that if I would just surrender my future and my desires to Him, He wouldn’t have to put me through so much pain. My question though is, what if God can ACTUALLY be trusted?

That’s where this journey begins. I’m on a journey of seeking, learning, and understanding truth. Pain is an inevitable foundation for growth. In my life this fact can not be argued. What if I told you that God is capable of teaching someone all things in less than a second? That He is strong enough to strengthen a whole body in an instant, in order to send one into the mountains? What if it’s true that He is capable of doing more than we could ever think or imagine?

Now, what if I told you that He desires a relationship more than a ministry, a relationship more than your future, and a relationship more than your comfort? Maybe He sees far beyond this lifetime. Have you ever thought maybe He truly can do all things, but that maybe His ways far outdo our understanding of good and evil? Maybe He knows everything, and we know only in part. Maybe He wants to lead His people rather than educate them.

Preparation is an invitation.

My journey with God began two years ago, and He has taught me that a journey has no destination. The journey of salvation isn’t a journey to heaven or a journey to the new earth. The journey of salvation is a journey with no destination at all. It’s been said several times by poets, scientists and journalists that every ending is a new beginning. God challenged me to think deeper. The word ending is defined: “An end or final part of something, especially a period of time, an activity, or a book or a movie.”

I guess that means there is such a thing as an ending, right? No, not in light of what I have learned. Nothing is final, especially a period of time. Every lesson we learn, every memory we make becomes the force of continuing forward. We are told in society to not live in our past, but we cannot deny the burning truth that we all live from our past. Time connects and continues.

The circle of life; the circle of time; the circle of creation; the circle of joints; the circle of trees; the circle of veins; the circle of LIFE. When initially read that may seem confusing, but if you think about it, it is rather fascinating and accurate. Our joints move in a circular motion; shaped as cylinders. Trees are made up of circles and cylinders. Blood runs through cylinder veins in circuital shapes.

The world tells us that in order to have a “new beginning” there has to be an ending. What we are calling an ending though is the moving forward. Nothing is ever truly left behind. All we know follows us. All we learn surrounds us, and all we understand develops us.

What about books or movies, or conversations? Obviously they come to an end, right? No, not in light of what I have learned. When a book is finished, thoughts follow. When we think, the mind expands. When the mind expands, actions are made. When actions are made, things change. When we close a book to the words “The End” it doesn’t mean anything has ended, but rather that more has been started. Everything is wrapped into everything. There is no partiality or destination to reach. There is only more to add in the ever expanding journey of eternity.

How does this relate to preparation?

It doesn’t. Both points were simply worth addressing. Perhaps you’ll find a way to tie the two together. Maybe you’ll finish reading this and you’ll continue the journey of journey’s.

Preparation is an invitation to partake in the circle of eternity


6 thoughts on “Surrender in Circles

Add yours

  1. Thank you for writing this Heidi. It took me deeper into conversation with the Father and what He longs for in me. I found myself drifting into another world reading your thoughts, and journey. Very inspiring, thank you.


  2. While I think about it, all your blog posts have been quite a blessing. After being drawn in from the first one I read.

    Now from what I’ve gathered, you seem to be unsure of what the Father wants you to do with this blog. I personally believe it gives you not only confidence to better express your heart openly in light of representing Him well, but even more so it’s been a blessing to many lives. At the very least it sure has mine.

    Thank you Heidi for being you, and not anyone else. To many young ladies I’ve seen sadly hide behind a mask of fear and a fake smile which shows a lacks trust in the Father, (Which understandably is probably due to childhood pain or past events,) but you seem to to do just the opposite having been through something’s you’ve briefly shared in posts.

    I pray Father encourages you to continually trust Him in every endeavor regardless of whether or not it makes sense because full trust can and will take you far with Him. After all He truly loves you as His daughter and continues to desire your thoughts and love to be manifested through Him. I hope this encourages you to know He has exciting new adventures you have not had before because He trusts you with His heart Heidi. Shalom!


    1. Wow, thank you so much for your encouragement! I give my life to Him everyday, and it blesses my heart so much when God uses me as His vessel. I am at a loss for words. You have been so encouraging, and I appreicete your kindness more than I convey in words. God is so good, and the more I seek Him, the more I am blown away by His loving pursuit.

      I am learning to Trust Him even when it doesn’t make sense, although I will admit that at times it is a hard thing to do.

      Keep seeking Him as well, because He loves you deeply. I’m sure you know this well, but reminders are always wonderful. May God bless you in all that you do.


      1. Thank you Heidi for your encouragement I much appreciate it. I look forward to reading your next blog post.

        Your one special young lady, and whoever your future husband is will be one extremely blessed man. I’m blessed to see your time with Father grow deeper still in His love and intimacy. It makes me smile reading your journey.

        P.S. your latest blog on redeeming purity in Jesus for marriage was spot on. I loved reading it! 😊 I look forward to chatting with you again.


      2. Thank you!!! 🙂 I appreciate that a lot. Very excited to meet him someday, whoever he is.

        Wish I knew who you were, you pop up as anonymous on my end lol. You have definitely inspired me to continue writing.



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